Rudolph and Josephine: A Love Story
by SHSL Coach Nidai
Summary: When Jo stumbles across Lightning's yearbook, she finds an embarrassing secret-and winds up giving away one of her own, too. A (late) Secret Santa gift for ThePessimisticRainbow.


**Ugh. I am so, so, so, so sorry for how late this is! Ugh! I don't know why, but I had literally no inspiration for a fic. I've had a terrible case of writer's block now for the past month, and every different idea I had for this hit a standstill. Only this past week, thanks to writing prompts with a friend, was I finally able to update another fic and write this.**

**So, Sarah, here you go. I am so sorryvthat everyone butvyou has gotten a fic so far, please forgive me. Honestly, if you hadn't wanted a Joning fic I think it would've been even harder for me to get something done. But the second I found a crucial piece of information regarding everyone's favorite overachiever, I had a story.**

**Disclaimer: Total Drama is not mine. Be grateful, because it would suck immensely if I did own it.**

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The second Lightning walked through the door, he knew something was very, very wrong. For him to realize something was wrong in itself was an accomplishment-Lightning's brain was the only part of his body lacking in physical superiority. But no. Even a person who was brain dead could very easily tell that something dark was coming in on the horizon.

Jo was _laughing._

And not normal laughter ay one of her own jokes, no. This was the kind of hysterical guffawing that only six months of on-and-off dating taught him was bad. Jo only laughed so hard when she stumbled on something unbeknownst to someone else, something that, when she imagined how much it would humiliate tha person, sent her into laughing fits.

And as the laughter came from upstairs, he knew what it was.

The athlete scrambled up the stairs as quickly as he could, his usual coordination stunted by the pit in his stomach. He may not know what day of the week it was, or the gender of the cafeteria lady (that dude had a mustache, c'mon!), but he knew what _this _was.

Opening his bedroom door he found Jo on the floor, trying to calm down. But when she looked at him, the expression of fear and anger on his face cracked her up all over again.

"Where. Is. It."

Jo smirked, stifling giggles as she crossed her arms. "Where is _what_?"

Lightning stomped his foot on the floor, pointing a finger accusingly at his girlfriend. "You know what I mean! Give Lightning his yearbook, now!"

"Lightning?" Jo picked up the book and slid it across the floor, where she had bookmarked a page. Lightning didn't even have to look to know what page it was. "Or, do you mean..._Rudolph_?"

She snorted and laughed again, while Lightning held the book. Man, stupid yearbook! He only kept it to show it off in his hall-of-fame room someday when he got his mansion! This was totally unfair.

"My sides...oh man..." Jo wiped a tear from her eye, calming down finally. "Rudolph Jackson. I would never have guessed that of all the names your parents could give you, they would go with Rudolph. I mean, your old man could do better than that! He has four Superbowl rings, for crying out loud!"

Lightning slammed the book on his dresser, crossing his arms. "Hey! Don't say nothing bad about my old man! He's he best, okay?! Mom wanted me to be named after my grandpa! Ain't my fault his name is so stupid!"

Jo shook her head. "But Rudolph..."She snickered. "Hey. Think if there's a blizzard, your nose'll light up?" She tapped her nose mockingly, causing Lightning to throw his hands into fists at his sides.

"You think you're soooooo funny! Least I have a boys' name!"

"Well duh, Jockstrap. You're a guy, last time I checked."

"Yeah, but you ain't!" At least, he was pretty sure she wasn't. He tried to check while making out one time (though he was primarily attempting to get to second base) and she punched him in the throat. But whatever, she was probably a girl. "And Joe is a boy's name! So my name isn't as stupid as yours! Ha!"

Jo froze, and Lightning was sure he got her beat. But what she said next caught him by surprise instead.

"Josephine."

"...what."

She rolled her eyes, scratching her head uncomfortably. "My real name...it's Josephine. I just like when people call me Jo. Okay?"

Lightning blinked, all this new information not processing immediately. "But, why? Jo makes people think you're a dude."

"Jo makes _you _think I'm a dude, because you have a negative brain cell count," Jo snapped, then sighed. "I don't know, Josephine just sounds so..._girly._ Like, that's the kind of name an old lady at church has. Miss Josephine, he old lady who goes to the tea shop with her retired husband Rudolph after Sunday service-ugh!"

"Why is her husband named Rudolph, though." Jo groaned and facepalmed.

"Why do I even tell you anything," she said, almost muttering to herself. "You never get it."

Lightning frowned, sitting down next to her. "No, I get it. Jo sounds tough. Like, I wanna fight a guy named Jo. A Josephine...not so much. It's like with me! You hear Lightning and you think, sha-BAM! The fastest, most powerfullest quarterback who ever lived! But Rudolph is all old and dumb. So, it works!"

Jo smiled a little and punched Lightning's shoulder. "You're an idiot, you know that?" Standing up she picked up one of the multiple sports balls in the room. "Up for some one-on-one basketball? Winner gets to call loser their real name for a week."

"You're on, _Josephine!_" Lightning jumped up, the idea of competing in a sports game the perfect thing to turn his day around.

"Well, race ya, _Rudolph_!" Jo bolted for the door, Lightning following closely behind.

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**Here you go! Sorry it wasn't too romantic, but Jo and Lightning aren't really the most affectionate people in the end. Again, forgive this piece of trash for her delay, and I hope you and other Joning fans out there enjoyed this.**


End file.
